Red in our Ledger, Blood on our Hands

CW: This blog post contains discussion of suicide and LGBTQ antagonism/homophobia. If you are feeling fragile and/or easily triggered with regards to these issues, you may want to not read this blog post. Know that you have our love and prayers. 

I love watching movies. One of my favorite franchises currently is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (Note: I feel I should comment that while I enjoy the movies, I also recognize that my fave is problematic, but that's a topic for a different post or ten). In the course of The Avengers, Scarlett Johansson's character Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow comments "I've got red in my ledger." and Loki responds with "Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red." Today, I thought of this conversation when I read this Facebook post from Michael Adam Ferguson.

I was just informed about a young LDS man who left his Sunday meeting services early, went home before his family got back from church, and hung himself.He was quietly fighting what he had been taught were the demons of same-sex attraction inside of his own soul. He had not disclosed this struggle to his family. Meanwhile, his mother and church leaders were outspoken in social media and offline about how society is being destroyed by gay people.My heart is broken anew with every suicide story people share with me. For anyone who still thinks like Gayle Ruzicka that it is "nothing personal" to broadcast the hateful, fear-mongering propaganda about gay men and women destroying society, blood is on your hands. For anyone who thinks LGBT people have won the culture war and we should therefore "let the crazies be crazy," you conspire with the work of destruction.(It's okay to "Like" this post--it doesn't mean you like the situation, but it does mean you like the call to attention and action. We all must do more.)

As a church and a culture/community, our ledger is gushing red. Our words, our conference talks, are directly responsible for people killing themselves, for innocent youth being kicked out of their homes. We have to stop this cycle. It's past time we stopped telling people that their sexual orientation makes them and their relationships "counterfeit". We need to do less judging and more loving. How can we call ourselves a pro-life church when our anti-LGBTQ rhetoric is causing so many deaths? Blood is on our hands. It must stop. Jesus didn't tell us "Love thy neighbor... unless they're LGBTQ." He said "Love thy neighbor." Our own scriptures say in John 13:34 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you." How much did Jesus love us, and how did He show that love? By dying for us. How can we say we are living this commandment from God when we are responsible for the deaths of others whom we have rejected and caused to feel worthless, hopeless, and unwanted? Our words are doing this, and it needs to stop. It should never have even started, but it did, and we need to make a conscious effort to change our course and reach out in love.

As Kalani Tonga said in the Why We Stay session at Sunstone, "I want to widen the circle of the church and make it welcoming for all. I never want anyone to hear 'I love you EVEN THOUGH.'" If we are loving people "even though they're LGBTQ", we aren't really loving them. Not truly, not 100%, not with the pure and unconditional love of God. We need to let go of "even though". We need to see the irreparable damage that we are doing to people we should be loving, reaching out to, and helping. Our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, should be a place where everyone feels safe and welcome, not a place where people feel hurt and rejected. How can we say we are taking upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ when we are the reason for deaths and for LGBTQ youth being disowned and tossed out on the streets?

In the words of Jerilyn Hassell Pool, "If there is one message that I would want that one young man or woman who is contemplating death by their own hand to hear from me and from my fellow Mormons, it is found in the words of the Reverend Gene Robinson, 'If you don't remember anything else, I want you to remember that you are loved beyond your wildest imaginations. The God that we know - His love is so boundless that we can all be God's favorite.'"

If we want to strengthen families, let's stop dividing them with our words of hate and rejection and strengthen ALL families with words of love and acceptance. Not acceptance if they change in accordance with how we want them to change, just acceptance for who they are.

If you are reading this and you doubt your worth, you doubt that you are loved, know this: I love you and I accept you. More importantly, our Heavenly Parents love and accept you. You have great value in the eyes of our Creator, and you are not alone. I stand with you.

My fellow Mormons, let us not allow this shameful tide of death to continue to drag us out to see. Let us change course and love everyone. Let us listen to and abide by the words of Jesus, who told us to love our neighbor. Period.

Rainbow Hands image credit: Jerilyn Hassell Pool
Post divider credit: Shabby Blogs